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Sadness? Happiness!
Hmmm. Well, I have some thinking to do. The Universe has gently and not-so-gently suggested sadness as the emotion de jour, from multiple sources, and I’m working on finding the source for that sadness. Tarot readings, psychics, and wise little girls are all saying the same things, and I’m looking. Stand by. Am I that far removed from my own emotions? I’m well aware that most of my life seems out of control right now, and it all equals experience, Sienna, and I accept this. This is neither Destiny nor Fate, but instead is finding the rhythm of the universe, being open to it on all Eight Ways, and working within it.
Phaedrus is starting to have undefined bladder problems; the Fortress of Solitude is becoming more of a storage place and bedroom (with chores to be done) that is becoming in my mind, “35 minutes from an Emergency Veterinarian.” The chopper is nearing completion, but there’s strain there as well – the mechanic has lost his job and is also acting unstable. The abandoned 5th Wheel left on my property will likely be returning to its owner, with a 2-month lien. I’ll likely be buying a converted bus and then working on selling the Fortress of Solitude, and living closer to a vet. I very much like the idea of a mobile house, especially with the solitary and nomadic lifestyle I prefer.
Calls from Hospitals, therapists, and attorneys all seem to generate late-night report writing that reduces court sentencing, and unnecessary stays in hospitals, and gets approval for necessary services, but those calls mean I get less sleep and less time in the dojo. My new voicemail is very necessary. There is some concern that my mental health clinic group is having a lot of financial difficulties, and my office and staff has also become unstable – I had to agree to another year lease in order to keep the group from going bankrupt. It seems I’m one of the few paying their bills on time. Additionally, my studying for the licensing exam is proving to be a Herculean task, and the $600 to actually take the exam will require very careful saving on a tighter budget. It will require a lot more time and study than I originally estimated. Despite my schooling and clinical experience, I seem to know very little of what promises to be on the exam.
A wise Muppet Samurai I know suggests that I need to stop working so hard on lessons of myself, and work instead on happiness. It’s actually comparatively easy to let go this entire list of the things I have little control over and just be, focusing on the positive, and having faith in the rhythm. Breathe, Warrior. I’ve got a house I can live in for now, a cat that loves me and generates happiness, and enough money to pay for what I do have and keep my practice rolling. Vehicles and stuff will come and go (mostly go) out of my life, and I have enough clinical skills and ability to protect and help heal those under my care, and I can learn enough stuff to pass that exam. I’ve got wise people to teach me what I have to learn, and I’ve got those that I teach, in turn. I’ll get the chopper when it’s ready – and then install fire cannons. *grin*
Hmmm. Perhaps I’m less sad already.
Phaedrus is starting to have undefined bladder problems; the Fortress of Solitude is becoming more of a storage place and bedroom (with chores to be done) that is becoming in my mind, “35 minutes from an Emergency Veterinarian.” The chopper is nearing completion, but there’s strain there as well – the mechanic has lost his job and is also acting unstable. The abandoned 5th Wheel left on my property will likely be returning to its owner, with a 2-month lien. I’ll likely be buying a converted bus and then working on selling the Fortress of Solitude, and living closer to a vet. I very much like the idea of a mobile house, especially with the solitary and nomadic lifestyle I prefer.
Calls from Hospitals, therapists, and attorneys all seem to generate late-night report writing that reduces court sentencing, and unnecessary stays in hospitals, and gets approval for necessary services, but those calls mean I get less sleep and less time in the dojo. My new voicemail is very necessary. There is some concern that my mental health clinic group is having a lot of financial difficulties, and my office and staff has also become unstable – I had to agree to another year lease in order to keep the group from going bankrupt. It seems I’m one of the few paying their bills on time. Additionally, my studying for the licensing exam is proving to be a Herculean task, and the $600 to actually take the exam will require very careful saving on a tighter budget. It will require a lot more time and study than I originally estimated. Despite my schooling and clinical experience, I seem to know very little of what promises to be on the exam.
A wise Muppet Samurai I know suggests that I need to stop working so hard on lessons of myself, and work instead on happiness. It’s actually comparatively easy to let go this entire list of the things I have little control over and just be, focusing on the positive, and having faith in the rhythm. Breathe, Warrior. I’ve got a house I can live in for now, a cat that loves me and generates happiness, and enough money to pay for what I do have and keep my practice rolling. Vehicles and stuff will come and go (mostly go) out of my life, and I have enough clinical skills and ability to protect and help heal those under my care, and I can learn enough stuff to pass that exam. I’ve got wise people to teach me what I have to learn, and I’ve got those that I teach, in turn. I’ll get the chopper when it’s ready – and then install fire cannons. *grin*
Hmmm. Perhaps I’m less sad already.