Nabbed from a Rabbit

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

Update

I haven’t posted in awhile, and it’s time to catch it up.

I have completed all of the clinical and hospital orientation processes. Today was my first day on the ward. I have a phone, a computer, a coffee pot, a messy office full of psychological testing batteries, a social skills/coping group for demented and depressed patients, a treatment team, and a clinical supervisor. I might get two individual psychotherapy patients, and, as soon as I’m up to speed, I’ll be responsible for all of the psychological evaluations on the entire ward and reporting those to the entire treatment team. Tomorrow, I organize, after morning report. I’m hoping for an outplacement to UNC-Chapel Hill Neurology, and it looks very possible.

I have acquired a beater pick up truck, a ’90 Toyota 4-banger that gets 27 mpg, with a camper and a bed liner, and a new CD player with a removable faceplate…but 185K on it. The weather, especially the thunderstorms, played a big part in my decision. I’ve joined the gym where my dojang is, for $25 a month, as I work for the hospital. It’s got a dry sauna, and some decent machines and free weights.

I’m still recovering post-Burn, with a bit of culture shock and new internship thrown in. I have not been able to balance out my charkas as of yet, but I’m working on it. Working my muscles and walking every day at lunch in the sunshine, and practicing communication with ‘True, Kind, and Necessary’ is helping. Breathing a lot. Staying calm in the face of adversity and calmly communicating with my theme camp, staying in the present, and paying attention to the energies of others and my surroundings is helping. Tang Soo Do is helping; Sensei James will not be surprised to find out who the biggest kid is in the Children’s class. Balance, and congruent thinking, are my mantras.

I’m thinking about adding a free yoga class on Sundays to stretch and practice breathing, as my knee still sometimes gives me some trouble. This Saturday is the black and red belt testing and promotions, and I’ll be there to help out and learn. The BF will be here in about 2 weeks to visit for a few days, and I’m looking forward to that. I’ve had some good conversations with Tam just before my self-imposed bed time of midnight, and I also look forward to those.

Life is about me working on myself, and working on being myself.