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Feb. 7th, 2007 09:00 amSo, as I’ve been talking with different people, themes of expectations have been coming up. Whenever a consistent theme keeps repeating itself in my conversations with others, I try to pay attention, because there is something I need to work on for my inner self.
The ego is something that is a mask we all hide behind. It’s not the Naked Flame, the inner self, but the inner demon that is all about fear/anger and ‘emotional discomfort’. Deepak Chopra writes that you break free of the ego when you feel neither beneath anyone or superior to anyone, when you shed the need to control people, when you do not use stereotypes or harbor either extreme likes or dislikes to people one barely knows. When you refuse to follow the impulses of anger/fear, when your speech is nurturing instead of judging, when you speak of loving, and when you surrender to the moment, to what is, and let the Universe teach you - and when you choose to learn without expectation, that’s when you can be at least temporarily without ego.
When you’re preoccupied with time and power, with objects that define our identity, with money or possessions, or with the past, you are not your Naked Flame, your inner self - you are your ego. It’s no secret that money is tight for me, but I refuse to worry about it - and the Universe has made sure that I have just enough to get by comfortably, just in time, and allow me to continue my learning and growing process. It’s no secret that I had to give up many material possessions and alter many relationships in order to gain this perspective about myself and to improve my knowledge and ability both about myself and my profession as a psychologist, and for this I am grateful. The Universe has also presented me with the opportunity to work on many relationships that due to fear, and greed, my own past, and a need for power, I have damaged. For all this, I am grateful.
Expectations can be both positive and negative, and I am learning to detach from both. To separate from the chaos of opposites, from joy and sorrow, from fear/anger and security, from yin and yang, is to grow. As Chopra also writes, when we can quietly reconcile ourselves to all of life’s contradictions, experiencing both pleasure and pain and getting stuck in neither, then we are free. As Jackie Kelm reporting Seligman’s (2002) study on happiness writes, you are responsible for your own happiness or unhappiness. You can choose perspective. You can choose to give up control. Do not have expectations of others’ reactions to your actions, and conversely, your reactions to their actions. Instead, respond. Flow, with clear intentions. Help resolve problems of others if you can and if you choose, without getting tangled in their expectations, or generating any of your own. As James Perry and Eckanbar doctrine teaches, figure out what you most love doing, then do what you love. Do this with Senshin (whole heartedly), as a service. That’s the Naked Flame.
Marcel Proust said that, “the real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Are my eyes fully open, and am I suddenly perfect and happy and a Zen/Tantra/Martial Arts Master? Uh, no. Is this what I am being repeatedly reminded by the universe to learn, like a rather slow student? Yes. Perhaps writing this down, for myself and others, may help teach this to me.
Thank you for reading this.
The ego is something that is a mask we all hide behind. It’s not the Naked Flame, the inner self, but the inner demon that is all about fear/anger and ‘emotional discomfort’. Deepak Chopra writes that you break free of the ego when you feel neither beneath anyone or superior to anyone, when you shed the need to control people, when you do not use stereotypes or harbor either extreme likes or dislikes to people one barely knows. When you refuse to follow the impulses of anger/fear, when your speech is nurturing instead of judging, when you speak of loving, and when you surrender to the moment, to what is, and let the Universe teach you - and when you choose to learn without expectation, that’s when you can be at least temporarily without ego.
When you’re preoccupied with time and power, with objects that define our identity, with money or possessions, or with the past, you are not your Naked Flame, your inner self - you are your ego. It’s no secret that money is tight for me, but I refuse to worry about it - and the Universe has made sure that I have just enough to get by comfortably, just in time, and allow me to continue my learning and growing process. It’s no secret that I had to give up many material possessions and alter many relationships in order to gain this perspective about myself and to improve my knowledge and ability both about myself and my profession as a psychologist, and for this I am grateful. The Universe has also presented me with the opportunity to work on many relationships that due to fear, and greed, my own past, and a need for power, I have damaged. For all this, I am grateful.
Expectations can be both positive and negative, and I am learning to detach from both. To separate from the chaos of opposites, from joy and sorrow, from fear/anger and security, from yin and yang, is to grow. As Chopra also writes, when we can quietly reconcile ourselves to all of life’s contradictions, experiencing both pleasure and pain and getting stuck in neither, then we are free. As Jackie Kelm reporting Seligman’s (2002) study on happiness writes, you are responsible for your own happiness or unhappiness. You can choose perspective. You can choose to give up control. Do not have expectations of others’ reactions to your actions, and conversely, your reactions to their actions. Instead, respond. Flow, with clear intentions. Help resolve problems of others if you can and if you choose, without getting tangled in their expectations, or generating any of your own. As James Perry and Eckanbar doctrine teaches, figure out what you most love doing, then do what you love. Do this with Senshin (whole heartedly), as a service. That’s the Naked Flame.
Marcel Proust said that, “the real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Are my eyes fully open, and am I suddenly perfect and happy and a Zen/Tantra/Martial Arts Master? Uh, no. Is this what I am being repeatedly reminded by the universe to learn, like a rather slow student? Yes. Perhaps writing this down, for myself and others, may help teach this to me.
Thank you for reading this.
