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Mar. 31st, 2008 01:27 pmOn Easter Sunday, Tam ended the relationship we were having, which was a blessing and a last service – as I would have not given up that unbalanced relationship, and we would have both have continued not being fed and being unbalanced. I am grateful for that courage, despite the painful feelings both at the time and those feelings that will resurface. I’ve faced and come out of that abyss, and I’m willing to go back and do it again if needed.
As mingdestiny writes,
“The thing I am writing this to remind myself is, that i create my reality, i created my excitement around an event, i created my disappointment around that event and i even created the ... failure that was the catalyst. Blaming others or technology, does not serve me, but asking questions does, by asking the right questions i can process the experience at lightening speed...”
I have been relearning the lesson of gain and loss – thanks to gifts from the Universe and Team Ruby. Sometimes one has to change what one has been focused on in order to make space for other opportunities, whether they want to or not. I now have found a small dojo, and I’ve further simplified my life. I hope that in time Tam and I will be comfortable as friends.
This weekend I was blessed to test both myself and the uchideshi, and I bear witness to her strength and courage, and her commitment to Budo. I’ve strengthened and clarified my relationship with her, and I’m even more committed to my own training. The difference between ritual and habit is intention.
I am now fasting for five days. I’ll be drinking water and fruit juice until April 4th. On that day, one of my students will arrive, and then the two of us will begin training together, making the body into the Temple it deserves to be. I will be focusing this month on mindful eating, eating slowly and joyfully and with intention.
After my fast, I will be eating only meat and green, leafy vegetables, and much less carbohydrates and processed food. I will also be beginning a 5-month cycle of devotional and joyful meditation, and training in my dojo or gym at least 2-5 times a week. I’ll also be devoting regular time to studying the EPPP licensing exam.
I’ve got training, both mental and physical, to do.
As mingdestiny writes,
“The thing I am writing this to remind myself is, that i create my reality, i created my excitement around an event, i created my disappointment around that event and i even created the ... failure that was the catalyst. Blaming others or technology, does not serve me, but asking questions does, by asking the right questions i can process the experience at lightening speed...”
I have been relearning the lesson of gain and loss – thanks to gifts from the Universe and Team Ruby. Sometimes one has to change what one has been focused on in order to make space for other opportunities, whether they want to or not. I now have found a small dojo, and I’ve further simplified my life. I hope that in time Tam and I will be comfortable as friends.
This weekend I was blessed to test both myself and the uchideshi, and I bear witness to her strength and courage, and her commitment to Budo. I’ve strengthened and clarified my relationship with her, and I’m even more committed to my own training. The difference between ritual and habit is intention.
I am now fasting for five days. I’ll be drinking water and fruit juice until April 4th. On that day, one of my students will arrive, and then the two of us will begin training together, making the body into the Temple it deserves to be. I will be focusing this month on mindful eating, eating slowly and joyfully and with intention.
After my fast, I will be eating only meat and green, leafy vegetables, and much less carbohydrates and processed food. I will also be beginning a 5-month cycle of devotional and joyful meditation, and training in my dojo or gym at least 2-5 times a week. I’ll also be devoting regular time to studying the EPPP licensing exam.
I’ve got training, both mental and physical, to do.
