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The latest Update
Sep. 15th, 2008 02:12 pmI'm processing attachment, acceptance, and belonging at the same time as I continue to fix and remove more and more from the Fortress of Solitude, despite others bringing more and more stuff there. The irony is not lost on me. I'll be staying at the Fortress for a few more months, and then I'll be making decisions about where I'll be practicing and living. I'm feeling connected to others less and less, recovering from the Burn. The cherry blossoms, the very symbol of Bushido and impermanence, wait while ethical issues are resolved with my tattoo artist about what is actually injected into my skin.
I'm adding more days of training in my dojo, and spending more time in the gym alone. I'm becoming more solitary. It seems to be the only time I'm not with other people who are using my energy to heal. I had a lengthy visit from a BIMC Prez, and others, and relearned much from them of how fear and thoughts affect them - again a relearning experience about my energy. I'm finishing my time with Sienna, who already has another student to focus on. I'll perform my 'graduation' ritual in January. I was somewhat unexpectedly not the High Priest this last weekend, but I was there for the energy - and it turned out I had another reason for being there, again to heal another and also myself.
Work has been very demanding. I've been testing, and working late at night. I've had a lot of crisis work, and I think I was able to keep a man with a diminished mental capacity from an unnecessary prison sentence. Now that I'm a "doctor" I get to make decisions that affect people and systems, and I have enough credibility that often they take my recommendations. That's quite a responsibility, and a lot of work. My licensing testing materials are resting heavily on my dining table - I'll likely be testing in February and completing the process of being a Resident. I may be moving to a new office either then or before then; my current professional group seems to be falling apart slowly. More impermanence. Then, once licensed, perhaps it'll be time to move on, like falling cherry blossoms.
Now? Studying. Practicing. 24-Shi Form. Paring down further. Preparing for the Winter. Finishing that which is unfinished. Remaining Open on All Eight Ways. Then, perhaps, a new direction.
I'm adding more days of training in my dojo, and spending more time in the gym alone. I'm becoming more solitary. It seems to be the only time I'm not with other people who are using my energy to heal. I had a lengthy visit from a BIMC Prez, and others, and relearned much from them of how fear and thoughts affect them - again a relearning experience about my energy. I'm finishing my time with Sienna, who already has another student to focus on. I'll perform my 'graduation' ritual in January. I was somewhat unexpectedly not the High Priest this last weekend, but I was there for the energy - and it turned out I had another reason for being there, again to heal another and also myself.
Work has been very demanding. I've been testing, and working late at night. I've had a lot of crisis work, and I think I was able to keep a man with a diminished mental capacity from an unnecessary prison sentence. Now that I'm a "doctor" I get to make decisions that affect people and systems, and I have enough credibility that often they take my recommendations. That's quite a responsibility, and a lot of work. My licensing testing materials are resting heavily on my dining table - I'll likely be testing in February and completing the process of being a Resident. I may be moving to a new office either then or before then; my current professional group seems to be falling apart slowly. More impermanence. Then, once licensed, perhaps it'll be time to move on, like falling cherry blossoms.
Now? Studying. Practicing. 24-Shi Form. Paring down further. Preparing for the Winter. Finishing that which is unfinished. Remaining Open on All Eight Ways. Then, perhaps, a new direction.
