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Energy Drop
Apr. 1st, 2010 04:39 pmI've been taking some time to myself before I go north of Austin for the Flipside Ranger/Medical training this weekend. I paid my last month's rent today at Camp Huaco Springs today - I'll be moving 'Ol Number 3 somewhere else near my parents the first of May, as this place is too expensive during the tourist season. Today I'll be finishing the puttering and making the final list for bus maintenance for the month. I am being a social recluse, and my energy is a bit down to allow a return to balance. Today I'll be throwing yet more away, and restocking and updating the trauma and bug-out bags, and starting the securing process that 'Ol Number 3 needs in order to travel. I have no desire to travel anywhere today.
My new job, seeing folks in residential care homes two days a week, is going to pay the bills until my first counseling job builds up enough clientele. I live much more simply and cheaply, and rarely go out for coffee or dinner anymore. Although my picture is indeed posted at the local TJ's as having "Mastered the Beast," a 2-lb.hamburger on a 10-inch bun, I rarely eat more than some chicken and vegetables, or a PBJ. I have more time to read and think. I am more alone, but I am not lonely. I have no desire to lead anyone or to be in a relationship, or to 'be in charge' of anything but myself. There's simply no room right now in my life for more than myself and my family.
When I think about my training and my life, some wisdom for myself and the Deshi, and anyone else who desires it: It's not for the Universe to take some habit away from me, it's for me to give it up. When something happens that is difficult or unpleasant, it's a valuable lesson you'll keep having until you learn it. You learn patience by enduring trials and rites of passage, not by being granted patience. The Universe doesn't grant happiness, either - it grants you opportunities to learn the rhythm of what would make you happy without expectation, if you've got the courage to go for it. Pain won't go away, and spiritual growth won't happen, unless you look fear in the eye and do what you have to do. Alter your perspective - enjoy your fear, experience it fully, and then you can enjoy the Universe for all of the amazing things it offers. If you must ask the Universe for anything, ask for what you need to love. Then do what the Universe tells you. This, in my opinion, is called training, and it's what Warriors do.
Just sayin'.
My new job, seeing folks in residential care homes two days a week, is going to pay the bills until my first counseling job builds up enough clientele. I live much more simply and cheaply, and rarely go out for coffee or dinner anymore. Although my picture is indeed posted at the local TJ's as having "Mastered the Beast," a 2-lb.hamburger on a 10-inch bun, I rarely eat more than some chicken and vegetables, or a PBJ. I have more time to read and think. I am more alone, but I am not lonely. I have no desire to lead anyone or to be in a relationship, or to 'be in charge' of anything but myself. There's simply no room right now in my life for more than myself and my family.
When I think about my training and my life, some wisdom for myself and the Deshi, and anyone else who desires it: It's not for the Universe to take some habit away from me, it's for me to give it up. When something happens that is difficult or unpleasant, it's a valuable lesson you'll keep having until you learn it. You learn patience by enduring trials and rites of passage, not by being granted patience. The Universe doesn't grant happiness, either - it grants you opportunities to learn the rhythm of what would make you happy without expectation, if you've got the courage to go for it. Pain won't go away, and spiritual growth won't happen, unless you look fear in the eye and do what you have to do. Alter your perspective - enjoy your fear, experience it fully, and then you can enjoy the Universe for all of the amazing things it offers. If you must ask the Universe for anything, ask for what you need to love. Then do what the Universe tells you. This, in my opinion, is called training, and it's what Warriors do.
Just sayin'.
