The latest Update

[grim23]

I think I passed my Tang Soo Do 9th Gup test, although I haven't been formally told, and won't be told until the belting ceremony. I trained hard, and I did the best I could do, and I showed power, focus, and control. I'm not very attached to the outcome. I either passed, and I'll move to another level of training, or I didn't, and I'll train harder at this level. That's not important. More significantly, I broke not one but two pine boards with a down heel strike, the first time I have ever done so or trained to do so. The BF will be happy to know that I told my self that I would not try, I would do---and I did, first strike. I just visualized blue light around my heel, and drove my heel well past the boards.

After talking to Tam this afternoon, I was inspired to do some reading. Often, in my relationship with Tam, I used 'try'. A lot. The BF pointed out that 'try' wasn't working, interfering with my communication, my expectations, and my connection to both her and Tam, and especially blocking my throat chakra. I'm committed to changing that, not just for my relationship with them, but also to improve myself.

Burkan, in Extreme Spirituality, writes that ego is what interferes with peak energy performance and how I perceive and respond to the situation, and how much energy I have. If our ego labels a task as disagreeable or impossible, ego limits our energy. One of the ways the ego does this is by saying, "I don't know if I can do this, but I can try," which really aims for an attempt rather than a result, and allows for doubt rather than a challenge, and takes away your energy so you are likely to fail.

If you aim well past the boards, relabeling your doubt as ego, and also focusing past doubt---you allow 100% of your energy to be used. When striking the boards dead center with that 100% of power, it's really not about physical strength. It's almost as if the blue light I visualized allowed the boards to actually separate and my heel to actually pass through instead of into the boards.

My lesson: I will practice approaching life without doubt, and without ego. "No," scolded Master Yoda. "Do, or do not. There is no try." I seem to be relearning all of my lessons, including those I attempted to teach others, at a deeper level. Or, maybe I'm just finally getting them myself.

Comments

Congratulations are in order

[fairiegodmother.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you've successfully tackled several major challenges lately, including breaking the pine boards.

What you just wrote about trying vs doing is the most cogent explanation of self-sabotaging vs self-supporting dynamics I've ever heard. Glad you've got it and glad you're sharing it.

You sound a lot clearer in every way.

Congratulations!

[sienna555.livejournal.com]

This is the point of the lessons you have been piling up on yourself; No attempting is ever going to be as good as confidently doing.

Look in your email for the lecture that I deleted from this post...;-).

[eurotopia.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! Do....instead of Try---commitment. Hard thing...sometimes.