Extreme Spirituality
Oct. 24th, 2006 10:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grim23Tonight, on my way to Lodge, I was clipped in my pickup truck by a red Honda Accord. I was turning right from a turn lane, a block from Lodge, and although I looked and signaled, I didn't see him, probably because he was driving too fast. The accident was my fault, because I was turning from the turn lane, and he had the right of way. Fortunately no one was hurt, although I was shaken up a bit. The Butner Deputy who responded to the scene was a Mason from Franklinton, and he was helpful in making sure I was OK. There were no citations issued, and neither of us will lose 'points' on our driving privileges. The other driver's front left corner was severely damaged; I have a ding in my fender and a small dent under the fender. Many of the Masons from Lodge saw me by the side of the road, and the Worshipful Master delayed opening Lodge until I got there to check and make sure I was OK, and they even saved me a plate of dinner.
In the past, I would have been very angry at myself for not seeing the other driver. In the past, I would have been angry with myself for my increased insurance rates and my small dents in a beater truck. I would have been angry with the other driver. In the past, I would have been very angry with myself for being late to Lodge, and for delaying and causing concern among the brethren. I would have held onto that anger for hours or days. I would have held on to that anger, denying even to myself that I was angry. Of course, those who know me well would know that all that anger was there, and that it was really fear.
Now? I find myself being aware I have an opportunity to practice compassion and gratitude. I feel compassion for that other driver and his family, who had their peaceful evening disrupted by having to have a traumatic accident experience, and a damaged car, and for the brethren who were wondering if a Brother was hurt. I'm grateful no one was hurt. I'm grateful that we both have insurance. I'm grateful I still have a drivable truck. I'm grateful I got dinner and was still able to attend Lodge. I'm grateful I have a fraternity of people, and friends who are reading this, who care enough to care.
Perspective? Things happen. I was not aware enough of my surroundings, and neither was he. Anger, especially self-anger, is not effective. Although I am still tense, and physically sore, I am not angry. I'll breathe away the tension, and heal the physical body, and not make it worse. I'm practicing being emotionally detached from those things that emotionally dissipate my energy and keep me from reaching a higher level of energy.
So, I'm focusing on gratitude and compassion. A lesson for both drivers, perhaps, but especially for me.
In the past, I would have been very angry at myself for not seeing the other driver. In the past, I would have been angry with myself for my increased insurance rates and my small dents in a beater truck. I would have been angry with the other driver. In the past, I would have been very angry with myself for being late to Lodge, and for delaying and causing concern among the brethren. I would have held onto that anger for hours or days. I would have held on to that anger, denying even to myself that I was angry. Of course, those who know me well would know that all that anger was there, and that it was really fear.
Now? I find myself being aware I have an opportunity to practice compassion and gratitude. I feel compassion for that other driver and his family, who had their peaceful evening disrupted by having to have a traumatic accident experience, and a damaged car, and for the brethren who were wondering if a Brother was hurt. I'm grateful no one was hurt. I'm grateful that we both have insurance. I'm grateful I still have a drivable truck. I'm grateful I got dinner and was still able to attend Lodge. I'm grateful I have a fraternity of people, and friends who are reading this, who care enough to care.
Perspective? Things happen. I was not aware enough of my surroundings, and neither was he. Anger, especially self-anger, is not effective. Although I am still tense, and physically sore, I am not angry. I'll breathe away the tension, and heal the physical body, and not make it worse. I'm practicing being emotionally detached from those things that emotionally dissipate my energy and keep me from reaching a higher level of energy.
So, I'm focusing on gratitude and compassion. A lesson for both drivers, perhaps, but especially for me.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 05:44 am (UTC)This seems like a good lesson for me to start working with as well.
I am glad you are all okay and glad to see you have support in your new neck of the woods.
~TigressOwesYouAPhoneCallSky~
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Date: 2006-10-25 06:35 am (UTC)Wow. Cool. Very cool.
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Date: 2006-10-25 08:51 am (UTC)sounds like a sea-change
Date: 2006-10-25 10:36 am (UTC)With all that going on, you sound great.
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:21 pm (UTC)Not heard from you much on lj. Hope you're blessed, as well.
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:27 pm (UTC)Hope you're okay as well.
Love,
GrimCallme(callme)onthelineCallme,callmeany,anytimeCallmeSter
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:28 pm (UTC)How was your trip?
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:30 pm (UTC)How's your most important thing? *smile*
*Hugs back*
Re: sounds like a sea-change
Date: 2006-10-25 04:31 pm (UTC)A sea-change?
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 04:31 pm (UTC)Stuff is stuff is stuff - it's our reactions to the stuff. (this more for me than you but I think that's the point you were making)
*hugs*
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:33 pm (UTC)The fact that you see this, really see this, and are not just reciting what others might want to hear, is a good thing.
"So, I'm focusing on gratitude and compassion. A lesson for both drivers, perhaps, but especially for me."
This is good, very good. Perhaps one way you can practice compassion is by observing this situation with your heart instead of your mind, specifically, look at your Masonic Brethren... The cop, the lodge.
"I was not aware enough of my surroundings, and neither was he."
*Grins* Perhaps I'm not the only one guilty of Superfocusing, huh? Maybe it's an American thing.
Anyways, I'm glad everyone is ok, thought you may be sore for a few days. Hot baking soda baths may help... Mostly I'm glad the Universe finally got the lesson through before someone really got hurt. It sounds like you've found a family down there, a group of people who really care about you. This is wonderful news, though you are still missed greatly back here.
Jharma
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:35 pm (UTC)Jharma
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:36 pm (UTC)Yeah. Hope my lesson is something you can use.
*hugs back*
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Date: 2006-10-25 04:47 pm (UTC)Superfocused? Hmmm. I think I simply paid as much attention as I usually do in driving situations, and, although I looked and signaled and did the right things, I didn't see far enough behind me. I just missed his speed. Perhaps ,a lesson to be more vigilant. I notice I often lower my guard when I'm 'safe' in a vehicle. Perhaps that's the American thing?
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 09:12 pm (UTC)Okay, there are harder ways to "get it." But there are easier ways too.
Compassion. Gratitude. Concern. The fourth one you're missing is "Comittment." Which is why you continued onward to the Lodge meeting,despite being late. Which is why you posted this here for all your westcoast friends to read. Comittment is the easy one, the one we always overlook.
Compassion, Concern, Committment, Gratitude.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-25 09:57 pm (UTC)You know, I can feel the changes in you coming across in the energy of your words... Your growth is showing, and it's a beautiful thing to behold.
Jharma
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Date: 2006-10-26 06:59 am (UTC)Dang... car accidents seem to be in the very air... darn merc Retrograde anyway! :P.
Alot of what you described about hwo you reacted and how you felt about the situation reminded me of my accident and how it's been playing out. Should know tomorrow if it is "totaled" or not... and I feel this strong sense that everything is happening as it should, for reasons I may not understand now, but can trust. I think it will be the same with you dear.
Will call this weekend. School work owns my ass for now.
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Date: 2006-10-26 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-26 04:34 pm (UTC)Hmmm. Thank you.
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Date: 2006-10-26 04:41 pm (UTC)I think if you and I can just be and let the universe play out and try to learn from it, then we'll be the most effective.
I'm very much looking forward to your call. :>