grim23 | (no subject)

The energy of Tantra, by its very nature, uncovers and resolves unfinished business and relationships. These last two weekends have certainly proven that. Last weekend I inelegantly learned of the death of my Queen’s daughter, and this weekend I paid my respects to my Queen. After burning tokens of our union in the Beltane fire, and returning her totem and the symbol of her House, I released myself from a symbolic oath of protection to my Queen and her daughter, even though I was mostly absent in her life for six years. I passed that oath on to her chosen protector with love and compassion.

Although I missed her daughter’s celebration of life ceremony this week, I had contributed to her funeral and ceremony costs by assisting in her joining the Masonic family – and we take care of our own. Brittany was an Honored Queen of the Job’s Daughters, and the Brethren and the Bethel were able to ease the financial burden of the family. Loyalty is one of the seven Virtues of Bushido, and this weekend saw a long-unopened box in my spiritual dojo opened, unpacked, and dealt with.

The Beltane fire, besides passionate and seductive warmth, is a cleansing and destructive force of nature. Besides the Queen’s tokens, some of the contents of my altar - slave bells, a note of love, honor and service, and the ring offered and accepted at Beltane two years ago, were destroyed in the heat of the Beltane fire. A rite of passage at that fire also indirectly allowed the later clarification of another relationship. I danced and drummed to that fire until almost dawn, performing Bhoga and honoring the invoked manifestation of Shakti.

I learned lessons of balance and not pushing the river, and came to the realizations that I don’t often just tell people when my feelings are hurt, and that directed and focused anger is a powerful motivator to overcome both fear and sorrow, and self-destructive habits. As a result of this, I am continuing my mindful eating practices and adding more mindful living practices, building the mind as a temple, and performing daily Bhoga. I’ll be working on the above practices, and spending even less non-productive time on the internet and other negative non-sacred activities.

I’ve got stuff to do.