Deep breath. Another. Another. Another...
Feb. 28th, 2005 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grim23I was ready to fight for the Clearinghouse. I was ready with CV's and cover letters and telecommunications, ready to do battle. The preparation was pointless.
There were 3,117 applicants, and 669 of us didn't match. My only criteria for a site that I would have fought for was an Oregon or Northern Washington site, and there were none. There was no one to fight. When I interviewed, I gambled on the best site, and I took my best shot, and I missed.
So, perhaps I'm not to have that life change this year. Perhaps finishing my dissertation and relocating and dealing with all of the other life changes is my life task for the year. I know this is true, but why does my gut feel like an arrow penetrated my armour? I know I'm down and hurting, and in shock. Please leave me alone for now. Please allow me the dignity of trying to get back up and keep going on my own.
There were 3,117 applicants, and 669 of us didn't match. My only criteria for a site that I would have fought for was an Oregon or Northern Washington site, and there were none. There was no one to fight. When I interviewed, I gambled on the best site, and I took my best shot, and I missed.
So, perhaps I'm not to have that life change this year. Perhaps finishing my dissertation and relocating and dealing with all of the other life changes is my life task for the year. I know this is true, but why does my gut feel like an arrow penetrated my armour? I know I'm down and hurting, and in shock. Please leave me alone for now. Please allow me the dignity of trying to get back up and keep going on my own.
Re: *support*
Date: 2005-03-01 01:21 pm (UTC)Love, Grim