![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Feb. 3rd, 2008 01:29 amPhysically, I’ve moved more stuff out of the Middle Chamber; I have about one load left. I’m sorting, unpacking, and still purging stuff. I’m down to about one room worth of stuff, and some tools, although I‘ve bought a rather solid high bed slept in by a psychic for the last 16 years that will allow more storage. My dissertation is now at the bookbinders, with complete signatures.
It seems, tantrically, I’m running lean again, and operating without much of a safety net. My red tantra partner and I are raising energy well and working hard, but I’m not going to get much in the way of mentorship for awhile. I’ll be careful to check in with all of my chakras before I run any energy. I’ve also found out there are still those who are angry at who I was before I left for NC and are avoiding me...which is how they want it. OK. That’s their anger/fear, and I won’t own it – but I will be ready to apologize when they’re ready to listen.
I’m still training hard for next weekend in Seattle when I’ll perhaps spar the uchideshi – I run most days, and I’m getting a free month membership at the BF’s gym, where I’ve trained for the last several days. As I work on myself, both physically and tantrically, I noticed after the BF and Tam have both pointed it out that I’m a bit more irritable and cranky, and I’m craving meat again – a sign that I’m transforming yet again.
Tam and I are starting to talk about our relationship, both future and current dynamics, and we’re starting our homework from a series of classes we’ve recently attended. Assuming that she finds a position in the local area, I’ve committed to her – and if she finds a position somewhere else, I’ll follow her when I can, if I can.
I’ve finished moved in with Paula to take care of Phaedrus, and I’ve gotten used to feline insulin injections, and learned the correct house protocols. I’ve taken Phaedrus to the vet once for abdominal discomfort and uncontrollable leaking of urine on the living room floor. He wasn’t infected or having a blockage, but his blood sugar, despite the insulin, was still too high. It might be that I have to make a euthanasia decision within the next year or so, unless we can get his diabetes under more tight control.
Being a Warrior means being vulnerable.
It seems, tantrically, I’m running lean again, and operating without much of a safety net. My red tantra partner and I are raising energy well and working hard, but I’m not going to get much in the way of mentorship for awhile. I’ll be careful to check in with all of my chakras before I run any energy. I’ve also found out there are still those who are angry at who I was before I left for NC and are avoiding me...which is how they want it. OK. That’s their anger/fear, and I won’t own it – but I will be ready to apologize when they’re ready to listen.
I’m still training hard for next weekend in Seattle when I’ll perhaps spar the uchideshi – I run most days, and I’m getting a free month membership at the BF’s gym, where I’ve trained for the last several days. As I work on myself, both physically and tantrically, I noticed after the BF and Tam have both pointed it out that I’m a bit more irritable and cranky, and I’m craving meat again – a sign that I’m transforming yet again.
Tam and I are starting to talk about our relationship, both future and current dynamics, and we’re starting our homework from a series of classes we’ve recently attended. Assuming that she finds a position in the local area, I’ve committed to her – and if she finds a position somewhere else, I’ll follow her when I can, if I can.
I’ve finished moved in with Paula to take care of Phaedrus, and I’ve gotten used to feline insulin injections, and learned the correct house protocols. I’ve taken Phaedrus to the vet once for abdominal discomfort and uncontrollable leaking of urine on the living room floor. He wasn’t infected or having a blockage, but his blood sugar, despite the insulin, was still too high. It might be that I have to make a euthanasia decision within the next year or so, unless we can get his diabetes under more tight control.
Being a Warrior means being vulnerable.
