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Seattle Update
Feb. 10th, 2008 03:11 amTonight I finally sparred the uchideshi at a conference in Seattle. I have a bruised top of my right foot (blocked round kick by elbow) and sore ribs and legs, and a knot above my left eye, but I won. She has a bruised left cheek, bruised lats and back, and equally sore legs. She drew the only blood, to my right hand. The fight was honorable, and well done from us both, and with much intensity. It was very necessary for both of us. Room service was tasted and eaten with the clarity of catharsis; a cheeseburger and fries was worth the months of training.
The conference has provided much to process. Besides the conversations between Warriors that the uchideshi and I have, I have been exposed to some of my Inner Monsters, cut and pierced out of Love, gained a better understanding of the protocols of psychodynamics, and better defined what motivations and rituals I perform mean to myself, and how there needs to be energy exchanged for the ritual to be worth it. Tam is a jewel and I adore her - she has quietly served to support me very well in so many ways. I love her, and I'm moving empty boxes away from the Heart Cave to make space for her.
Armor and weapons move in and out, mostly out, of my life. The wakasashi I am acquiring will soon be paid for, in exchange of armour for the Ronin. Armour has also gone to the May King, and swords and an All-Seeing Eye have been gifted to the uchideshi, in exchange for an external hard drive I really needed, and for an unexpected Buddha Shrine from the uchideshi for my mostly empty altar. I have abundance, and will soon once again have five swords.
This last few weeks have also been about much tantric training and awareness with my red tantra partner, as well as my own physical and mental training. I have no desire to pursue anger, in myself or in others. I realized tonight that the Universe has other plans for me than a formal dojo, and my frustration is useless and draining, and interferes with my other training and obligations. The BF gifted me with a free month's membership to a gym, and I'm taking full advantage of this opportunity. The attention to detail I relearned in the Middle Chamber has stood me in good stead, and Phaedrus is stable, happy and healthy as a result.
I'll be back Monday in Salem.
The conference has provided much to process. Besides the conversations between Warriors that the uchideshi and I have, I have been exposed to some of my Inner Monsters, cut and pierced out of Love, gained a better understanding of the protocols of psychodynamics, and better defined what motivations and rituals I perform mean to myself, and how there needs to be energy exchanged for the ritual to be worth it. Tam is a jewel and I adore her - she has quietly served to support me very well in so many ways. I love her, and I'm moving empty boxes away from the Heart Cave to make space for her.
Armor and weapons move in and out, mostly out, of my life. The wakasashi I am acquiring will soon be paid for, in exchange of armour for the Ronin. Armour has also gone to the May King, and swords and an All-Seeing Eye have been gifted to the uchideshi, in exchange for an external hard drive I really needed, and for an unexpected Buddha Shrine from the uchideshi for my mostly empty altar. I have abundance, and will soon once again have five swords.
This last few weeks have also been about much tantric training and awareness with my red tantra partner, as well as my own physical and mental training. I have no desire to pursue anger, in myself or in others. I realized tonight that the Universe has other plans for me than a formal dojo, and my frustration is useless and draining, and interferes with my other training and obligations. The BF gifted me with a free month's membership to a gym, and I'm taking full advantage of this opportunity. The attention to detail I relearned in the Middle Chamber has stood me in good stead, and Phaedrus is stable, happy and healthy as a result.
I'll be back Monday in Salem.
