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Nov. 6th, 2010 10:04 pmWow. OK. I lost my shit for a little bit. I got overwhelmed with bronchitis, family stuff, money stuff, delays with starting my new job, and, of course, the former Fortress of Solitude. Too much infection, not enough ways to push the infection out. Once I'd figured out what was happening, I've been working on it. I hit two different dojangs, stayed off the internet, ran, helped others, and worked through it. I owe some people apologies and some explanation. Yeah, I'm still angry about the FoS, and still waiting to hear about money and when I start work, but it's manageable.
Wat did I learn, or really - what did I relearn? I drain my energy with too many little things, which leaves me less able to stay healthy, both physically (bronchitis, etc.) and mentally (anger/fear, focus). I lose faith in the Universe taking care of those things that need to be taken care of. When I'm not healthy, I spend too much time on the computer, and I let my energy drain instead of taking care of myself. I slide into ruts and don't move the body, and rationalize the eating of less healthy foods, and don't train. When I maintain self-discipline, I am responsive and healthy. When I do not, I miss things. I'm not courteous or have gratitude. I lose the Way. Ouch.
OK, then. I've had four classes of training this week, and I've helped others with various acts of service. I have spent time working on 'Ol Number 3, throwing out yet more and getting all of the lumber for storage and seating acquired and cut. I'm finally sleeping (#97). I am eating well. The gear is helping. I'm a bit more social again, and went to the Austin Celtic Festival and enjoyed a concert of Scottish folk songs and an Irish Harper (#105).
Next? I've found a riding instructor to relearn to ride a horse (#87), bought an old EMT-B textbook to prepare for taking an EMT Certification course when I'm ready (#32), added more structure by not allowing myself to be on a computer for more than a hour a day (#86), signed up to take more CEUs (#41), and may be able to go see Slash/Ozzy in San Antonio in January (#105).
OK. Time to start getting caught up.
Wat did I learn, or really - what did I relearn? I drain my energy with too many little things, which leaves me less able to stay healthy, both physically (bronchitis, etc.) and mentally (anger/fear, focus). I lose faith in the Universe taking care of those things that need to be taken care of. When I'm not healthy, I spend too much time on the computer, and I let my energy drain instead of taking care of myself. I slide into ruts and don't move the body, and rationalize the eating of less healthy foods, and don't train. When I maintain self-discipline, I am responsive and healthy. When I do not, I miss things. I'm not courteous or have gratitude. I lose the Way. Ouch.
OK, then. I've had four classes of training this week, and I've helped others with various acts of service. I have spent time working on 'Ol Number 3, throwing out yet more and getting all of the lumber for storage and seating acquired and cut. I'm finally sleeping (#97). I am eating well. The gear is helping. I'm a bit more social again, and went to the Austin Celtic Festival and enjoyed a concert of Scottish folk songs and an Irish Harper (#105).
Next? I've found a riding instructor to relearn to ride a horse (#87), bought an old EMT-B textbook to prepare for taking an EMT Certification course when I'm ready (#32), added more structure by not allowing myself to be on a computer for more than a hour a day (#86), signed up to take more CEUs (#41), and may be able to go see Slash/Ozzy in San Antonio in January (#105).
OK. Time to start getting caught up.
