Community Forum

[grim23]

OK. It has been pointed out that my journal has become, "that place where [I] go to convalesce by having the majority of your posting community fawn all over [me], tend to [my] wounds, stroke [my] ego and tell [me] what [I] want to hear"... but, as my broccoli friends point out, what would be the fun in that?

Right now, I'm about learning, especially about the not-so-pleasant aspects of me. I need to learn about how to interact with others better and deal with how people really think and feel about me. Honesty, not fawning. Community forum. No filters.

I've just posted a snapshot personality test, and my astrology chart, giving ample suggestions for ways I do and do not work within the Universe, not to discount your own experiences. Apparently there are those who do not feel comfortable in other forums, so...here it is. Fire away, both barrels. I will not judge you, or even reply, other than to say thank you for the input, unless you request it. I will consider everything that's written, and try to incorporate it into my future Life.

Thank you for your time.

Comments

Insight

[nericksx.livejournal.com]

Grim's friends need to bare in mind that we all have very very different relationships with him, so we interact differently. The ONLY person who has ground to judge if the interaction is acceptable or not is GRIM.

In response to your invitation for feedback:
Ok, that was maybe a bit the other direction. By my suggestion that you be open to honest feedback to your normal journal entries, I did not intend to imply that you should take off your armour and hand out rocks. I'm not sure that that is super-healthy either. And truly, (although you could not have see this coming) all it did was start a flame-throwing session by your other "non-broccoli" friends. However, I do have the utmost respect for you in using this to become a better person, despite the imperfectness of the tool. On this point, the RWB and I collaborated and this is what we came up with: we actually agree with Aurora (on this point, only) that your faults should not be called attention to publicly. However, until the anon post and the post by jic where you actually solicited it, this has not happened. We feel that pointing out where a lesson could be learned to help you professionally or academically is our duty as friends. We also feel that it is not calling attention to all your horrid underpinnings, but having a little constructive feedback in a forum where everyone is your friend and wants to see you succeed, so it is hardly "public." And it isn't like jic had a personal beef with you ("you scumbag, when you were here you drank all the milk left your dirty grundies on the living room couch!") and used LJ to have it out with you, but merley cited personal examples to back up a lesson she was trying to convey in response to a post.

On offering constructive criticism:
We again collaborated and decided that we agree on one area of improvement to share. The RWB pointed out that friendships rarely disintegrate because of some type of action, but more often from inaction. I'm going to have to chime in with Anon and jic when I say that occasionally your stated esteem for someone is not borne out by actions. We have sometimes felt that you visit only when you need something, a nap, a cup of coffee, etc. and not just for the sake of visiting. I believe we addressed this however, and had a lovely visit with you not that long ago. I also have some lovely pictures from 12/26/04 that prove that you've been here for reasons other than a cup of joe and a pillow. So, I think we need not belabor the point further.

Hmmmm... I guess your biggest fault is - we like you so much we'd like to see you more often? I am guessing that you can handle that ;-) I think next time you visit, I'll have to invite jic too and we'll all have cheddar broccoli soup!

P.S. I do have thoughts on the power-dynamic/condescension thing, but if you are at all interested in exploring my experience, I'm happy to do it in my kitchen over said soup.

Re: Insight

[aurorawyndancer.livejournal.com]

Beautifully handled... and much more graceful than my rant...

*bows*
~Aurora

Re: Insight

[nericksx.livejournal.com]

Gee... *blushes* thanks :-)

With your permission, I would extend your complement to my husband - the RWB - as well, for he is the cool lime jello which neutralizes my Atomic Fireball Jawbreaker nature. I would not be so eloquent without his input.

*bows to you*
*bows to the RWB*

As to the Anon poster: if one doesn't have an LJ account, you can still post to one's LJ but the user is labeled "anon." You could of course sign your name, but I can almost guarantee that Grim will know who that person is. So they are only anon from us, but surely not from Grim. As much as I'm dyin' to know who that is, I do not need to know. That is between Anon and Grim. I have a feeling that Anon and Grim have such a relationship that that is how they are with each other, and Anon did not make comments out of malice. That is evidenced by how they took care to use a Grim-friendly metaphor as a vehicle for their thoughts.

As to the quagmire that poor Grim's LJ has become: strangely, this forum has become about the the posters (for some) and not the postee. In everyone's defense, Grim asked for it. Whether you feel it is right or wrong to take him up on it is another matter. I doubt anyone here (most CERTAINLY not me) would have the courage to take off one's armor and hand out rocks. If Grim wants his LJ community to oblige him in creating a digital gauntlet, who are we to deny him that? I think that as long the insight is kept reasonably general (no, "remember that time back in '97 when you said....") and done in a true spirit of helpfulness and caring, then it can be nothing but positive, if hard to take.

Actually in reading people's comments that they (for the most part) have taken great care to craft, I'm kinda dying' to meet everyone now. (Particularly [info]ms_pinkk who's K-9 nature has me utterly scratching my head. Perhaps I would do better to offer to scratch pinkk's head? :-)) Everyone has such a unique method of presenting themselves online, Grim surely does have a diverse group of... groupies?

Grim: I know you said you wouldn't reply, but you gotta gotta GOTTA! I am so curious to have your thoughts about what you have started ;-)

Re: Insight

[aurorawyndancer.livejournal.com]

*laughing merrily*... I don't know you, but I can tell I would like you

My respect to you Friend of Grim!
~Aurora

She's awesome that way.

[jic]

*grin* nericksx and RWB are indeed wonderful people. In fact, it was they who first introduced me to Grim. If you ever do get the chance, she's even more delightful company in person than here. (And RWB is definitely as she describes him.)

Re: She's awesome that way.

[nericksx.livejournal.com]

ok, ok, that's enough, I'm getting all veklempt!

*waves hand dismissivley while turning and blushing*

*Genuflects with deep respect to Aurora & Jic, Fellow Friends of Grim*

Yes, someday we'll have to have a F.O.G. reunion (Friends of Grim). Yes Grim, we are your FOG!

*laughs self right off chair*

Re: F.O.G. awesome that way, as friendship shown in any tone warm & loving

[ms-pinkk.livejournal.com]

Btw all F.O.G. it's the fact any tone shows only the true feelings all only have him in their heart. As for meeting each weird dog he may keep close know only my own growth is tone I speak from, & wouldn't expect others to pet me if not their need. Mine madness is always to pass as gift, for whatever may be received. Please don't feel the groupie need to flesh, if not yours ~ in skin we would all become most likely close friends as F.O.G. cleared seen from only within his heart for reasons we all should be so honored. Thanks for caring in anyway you allow the self towards him. From heart of dog is loyalty that can admit it sometimes gets caught licking her own bitch ass. *pinkk ~ blush*

Re: Insight

[(Anonymous)]

Anon did not make comments out of malice. That is evidenced by how they took care to use a Grim-friendly metaphor as a vehicle for their thoughts.

Since AnonyMoose the First is the one person I know who has posted and is someone I know very, very well, I can affirm this comment. Had AnonyMoose intended the comments to anything other than a thoughtful and useful (to Grim) response, they would have been vastly different in tone and content.

And lest anyone misunderstand me, let me be plain. I love Grim. But his behaviors make a continuing relationship impossible at this time. Should things change, he knows where I live and how to reach me.

By these comments I see that I have probably given Grim clues to incorrectly deduce the identity of AnonyMoose and I will say only this -- it's likely not the person you think it is. I do not mean to mislead, but cannot say more.

Aria