FOG? Sigh.
Apr. 25th, 2005 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grim23The Darklady's succinct post was that I get lost in form and forget function. Hmmm. My journal entry does seem to have gone there. My last journal entry does seem to be more about the form, the Friends of Grim, than allowing me to buy a clue, the function. I do surround myself with a myriad of strong friends from different subcultures, and I understand this opportunity for those friends who chose to comment to mingle and communicate was irresistible.
Well. Let me summarize the last 39 posts. Using chaos as a shield and as a weapon to end burdensome relationships, and also chi to abuse power dynamics is something I can use and consider. Perhaps the silk is too tight around the iron. I am not unhappy with anyone, and I asked for this, and there is no need for anger or apologies or permission. All of my friends have honor in their way, and their own perspectives including grief, loss, love, and anger still allow me to learn from them, even when I have not spoken to them in some time. This is not the first time I have been gifted with the concept of Chaos.
Nericksx wrote, "As to the quagmire that poor Grim's LJ has become: strangely, this forum has become about the the posters (for some) and not the postee. In everyone's defense, Grim asked for it. Whether you feel it is right or wrong to take him up on it is another matter. I doubt anyone here (most CERTAINLY not me) would have the courage to take off one's armor and hand out rocks. If Grim wants his LJ community to oblige him in creating a digital gauntlet, who are we to deny him that? I think that as long the insight is kept reasonably general (no, "remember that time back in '97 when you said....") and done in a true spirit of helpfulness and caring, then it can be nothing but positive, if hard to take."
Those who really know me well know that I am trying to rest my Warrior Self, and my armour has been used up for some time, and not yet replaced. Yet, the analogy fits. Gauntlet? Nope. That means I'm running away. I'm going to stand here, again without judgment or comment.
Throw rocks.
Well. Let me summarize the last 39 posts. Using chaos as a shield and as a weapon to end burdensome relationships, and also chi to abuse power dynamics is something I can use and consider. Perhaps the silk is too tight around the iron. I am not unhappy with anyone, and I asked for this, and there is no need for anger or apologies or permission. All of my friends have honor in their way, and their own perspectives including grief, loss, love, and anger still allow me to learn from them, even when I have not spoken to them in some time. This is not the first time I have been gifted with the concept of Chaos.
Nericksx wrote, "As to the quagmire that poor Grim's LJ has become: strangely, this forum has become about the the posters (for some) and not the postee. In everyone's defense, Grim asked for it. Whether you feel it is right or wrong to take him up on it is another matter. I doubt anyone here (most CERTAINLY not me) would have the courage to take off one's armor and hand out rocks. If Grim wants his LJ community to oblige him in creating a digital gauntlet, who are we to deny him that? I think that as long the insight is kept reasonably general (no, "remember that time back in '97 when you said....") and done in a true spirit of helpfulness and caring, then it can be nothing but positive, if hard to take."
Those who really know me well know that I am trying to rest my Warrior Self, and my armour has been used up for some time, and not yet replaced. Yet, the analogy fits. Gauntlet? Nope. That means I'm running away. I'm going to stand here, again without judgment or comment.
Throw rocks.
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Re: Ack! No! Not looking for a Bridge Troll position...
Date: 2005-04-26 04:07 pm (UTC)But I think all of FOG need to stop being so demanding, and realize who frickin many of us there really are... and figure out why we are all so darn in love with ya, and why some of us are so darn needy... and all be our own Knights, and not all expect you to be for us.
I’m responding to your apology because I want to make sure and convey that I understand you already said you were not fully awake when you posted this. But as someone who you don’t know (at least not that I’m aware of) and someone who commented towards our lovely Grim about this subject I really wanted to clarify some things.
I’m really uncomfortable with being described as feeling hurt, loss or anger over not having had the opportunity to get as close to Grim as I desire(d). We, umm, connected on more than one level a few times and I wouldn’t be surprised if that doesn’t happen again in the future. Or, maybe it won’t. But if it doesn’t, I’ll still cherish the few times we did connect as the gem that they are. Grim is not the first person I’ve had these fantastic experiences with that were a product of the moment never to be had again, and I’m sure he won’t be the last. But each is precious in their own, whether they can be duplicated again or not. I’m fairly confident that Grim understands that, or at least I hope that if he doesn’t he contacts me so I can explain it to him.
I just really wanted to have it understood that expressing my comments was not because of any sour feelings on my part but because I could recognize the pattern that others were describing where Grim would express a desire to pursue closeness or even begin pursuing closeness and then with no explanation stop. I have some thoughts on why that occurs but these are not things I’m willing to share here since at the moment I don’t feel that this is a warm and accepting place for thoughts or constructive criticism, not from Grim but from the other readers.
Grim – Now that I think about it I think I will try and contact you sometime in the near future because after writing this and with everything going on for us each individually I’m feeling that I maybe need to touch base with you personally. If I don’t hear from you regarding a good time and place I may very well be presumptuous and just call you. :P