101/1001 Update: Grief and Transition
Jun. 4th, 2025 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
grim23“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott
Body/Martial Arts/Physical Improvement/Testing: No progress. I did not train this week or last week. Training for future weeks is temporarily on hold (see below).
May's GoRuck 'Believe' Challenges are ongoing. The workout is the traditional 'Murph' Challenge. The Murph Challenge is "not just a physical test, but also a mental and emotional one. Participants are pushed to their limits and are encouraged to keep pushing through the pain and exhaustion, just as Lieutenant Michael Murphy did during his final moments." At the Tough level, it is a 1-mile ruck, 200 Sandbag Bent Over Rows (the substitute for 100 pull-ups), 200 Pushups, and 300 Squats, and then another 1-mile ruck, all wearing a 20-lb. plate carrier, and using a 60-lb. sandbag. The F*CK is Max reps of strict pull-ups in one set. This is also on hold, as are June's Challenges.
Mind/Spirit/Centering/Health: I've started rereading The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön. I've started auditing a 4-week free college course, from Harvard Medical School, called Lessons from Ebola: Preventing the Next Pandemic. I once again 'sat' loving-kindness virtual zazen, thinking of The Old Man and Alfie, his dog. I am having trouble reading, concentrating, or thinking.
In Case of Zombies/Disaster Preparation: I've continued Jim Cobb's Countdown to Preparedness book/assignments. This week (week 19) is about getting caught up on health maintenance issues, and I will be scheduling all of my medical and dental appointments soon. I had attended the two-day in-person class, FP MGT439 0578 Pediatric Disaster Response and Emergency Preparedness, this week - part of earning a Community Disaster Preparedness in Healthcare certificate. I had also attended a virtual Disability Access and Functional Needs Planning Preparedness training class through the Multnomah Medical Reserve Corps.
Maintenance/Shit Got To Be Done: I've completed all of the 20 required minimum CEUs I'll need to have in October when I renew my LPC license. I've not heard about the Whorse yet. The Whorse may not be a priority, as my plans for Burning Man this year may be canceled (also see below).
Base Station/Ol' Number 3: Excavation for the Shop is ongoing. The ground has been cleared for the septic lines. Once the septic lines are in, I will build and install the generator doghouse and the generator backup for the Gate House. The old concrete has been removed, and the shop site is being leveled and expanded for new concrete and retaining walls.
Travel/Adventure/Doing Stuff: No progress. The Old Man has passed, mostly in his own bed. The Hospice Team was very helpful with funeral arrangements and with some final care provided. I had two wonderful people come and support me, cleaning and providing a lot of support while I made the hard decisions, and also fell apart. I hope to live my life paying forward the kindness and compassion those two have shown me, knowing that this has also happened to them. I am still alone at the Gate House, cleaning and working on a legal/social/financial checklist of things to be canceled and changed, and I am also working on some of the little projects at Base Station.
― Anne Lamott
Body/Martial Arts/Physical Improvement/Testing: No progress. I did not train this week or last week. Training for future weeks is temporarily on hold (see below).
May's GoRuck 'Believe' Challenges are ongoing. The workout is the traditional 'Murph' Challenge. The Murph Challenge is "not just a physical test, but also a mental and emotional one. Participants are pushed to their limits and are encouraged to keep pushing through the pain and exhaustion, just as Lieutenant Michael Murphy did during his final moments." At the Tough level, it is a 1-mile ruck, 200 Sandbag Bent Over Rows (the substitute for 100 pull-ups), 200 Pushups, and 300 Squats, and then another 1-mile ruck, all wearing a 20-lb. plate carrier, and using a 60-lb. sandbag. The F*CK is Max reps of strict pull-ups in one set. This is also on hold, as are June's Challenges.
Mind/Spirit/Centering/Health: I've started rereading The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön. I've started auditing a 4-week free college course, from Harvard Medical School, called Lessons from Ebola: Preventing the Next Pandemic. I once again 'sat' loving-kindness virtual zazen, thinking of The Old Man and Alfie, his dog. I am having trouble reading, concentrating, or thinking.
In Case of Zombies/Disaster Preparation: I've continued Jim Cobb's Countdown to Preparedness book/assignments. This week (week 19) is about getting caught up on health maintenance issues, and I will be scheduling all of my medical and dental appointments soon. I had attended the two-day in-person class, FP MGT439 0578 Pediatric Disaster Response and Emergency Preparedness, this week - part of earning a Community Disaster Preparedness in Healthcare certificate. I had also attended a virtual Disability Access and Functional Needs Planning Preparedness training class through the Multnomah Medical Reserve Corps.
Maintenance/Shit Got To Be Done: I've completed all of the 20 required minimum CEUs I'll need to have in October when I renew my LPC license. I've not heard about the Whorse yet. The Whorse may not be a priority, as my plans for Burning Man this year may be canceled (also see below).
Base Station/Ol' Number 3: Excavation for the Shop is ongoing. The ground has been cleared for the septic lines. Once the septic lines are in, I will build and install the generator doghouse and the generator backup for the Gate House. The old concrete has been removed, and the shop site is being leveled and expanded for new concrete and retaining walls.
Travel/Adventure/Doing Stuff: No progress. The Old Man has passed, mostly in his own bed. The Hospice Team was very helpful with funeral arrangements and with some final care provided. I had two wonderful people come and support me, cleaning and providing a lot of support while I made the hard decisions, and also fell apart. I hope to live my life paying forward the kindness and compassion those two have shown me, knowing that this has also happened to them. I am still alone at the Gate House, cleaning and working on a legal/social/financial checklist of things to be canceled and changed, and I am also working on some of the little projects at Base Station.
