The final Internship Update, for a year...

[grim23]

My armour is gone, and I cannot lift my swords anymore. That battle is over, at least for this season.

I did not get the position. I fought the best that I could, and I'll find out in a couple of days why I didn't get the internship. I have to have faith that there was a reason. The Best Friend is concerned my ego structure (from JIC) was becoming an egg, as opposed to a honeycomb with multiple structural integrity, and that one blow would destroy everything. On reflection, and rereading my journal, I can see how see one would think that. This would be that blow, and if it were true, I'd be an omelet. Does it hurt? Yes. Will I lay down and die? Never.



Now? New, better armour. A new sword, called Dissertation. A new perspective. A new home, new relationships, new roles. The Dark Samurai must heal himself, and train more---become faster, harder, and more efficient. I must become silk-wrapped iron, give up even more Self, and take care of business. It's time to heal others, time to lead others, time to serve. Time to make my baby howl, scraping pegs, wind burning my eyes at 88mph in a tight sweeper. Time to finish cutting away that which doesn't serve, and cut away chains holding me back. There is no time for anything that hesitates, doesn't engage life, that doesn't teach.

Enough. Time to go forward and learn.



Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
----Gandhi

Comments

On metaphors

[voluptasia.livejournal.com]

Warrior, armor, egg, honeycomb, trees, bamboo - it's all an alternate way of getting the message across when you really are afraid of what's underneath. You have friends who love you, and you are an amazing person, whichever metaphor you use to describe that. Listen to your wise friends, and your heart, and know that you're doing (or not doing) the right thing. May this be the year you look beyond the metaphor to discover what's been there all along. May you have few regrets at the end.

Like gum on the bottom of your shoe,
The BF =)

Re: On metaphors

[grim23]

How very wise you are, BF. :>

I think gum lasts longer than eternity. You may have the best metaphor yet. :>