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grim23My armour is gone, and I cannot lift my swords anymore. That battle is over, at least for this season.
I did not get the position. I fought the best that I could, and I'll find out in a couple of days why I didn't get the internship. I have to have faith that there was a reason. The Best Friend is concerned my ego structure (from JIC) was becoming an egg, as opposed to a honeycomb with multiple structural integrity, and that one blow would destroy everything. On reflection, and rereading my journal, I can see how see one would think that. This would be that blow, and if it were true, I'd be an omelet. Does it hurt? Yes. Will I lay down and die? Never.
Now? New, better armour. A new sword, called Dissertation. A new perspective. A new home, new relationships, new roles. The Dark Samurai must heal himself, and train more---become faster, harder, and more efficient. I must become silk-wrapped iron, give up even more Self, and take care of business. It's time to heal others, time to lead others, time to serve. Time to make my baby howl, scraping pegs, wind burning my eyes at 88mph in a tight sweeper. Time to finish cutting away that which doesn't serve, and cut away chains holding me back. There is no time for anything that hesitates, doesn't engage life, that doesn't teach.
Enough. Time to go forward and learn.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
----Gandhi
I did not get the position. I fought the best that I could, and I'll find out in a couple of days why I didn't get the internship. I have to have faith that there was a reason. The Best Friend is concerned my ego structure (from JIC) was becoming an egg, as opposed to a honeycomb with multiple structural integrity, and that one blow would destroy everything. On reflection, and rereading my journal, I can see how see one would think that. This would be that blow, and if it were true, I'd be an omelet. Does it hurt? Yes. Will I lay down and die? Never.
Now? New, better armour. A new sword, called Dissertation. A new perspective. A new home, new relationships, new roles. The Dark Samurai must heal himself, and train more---become faster, harder, and more efficient. I must become silk-wrapped iron, give up even more Self, and take care of business. It's time to heal others, time to lead others, time to serve. Time to make my baby howl, scraping pegs, wind burning my eyes at 88mph in a tight sweeper. Time to finish cutting away that which doesn't serve, and cut away chains holding me back. There is no time for anything that hesitates, doesn't engage life, that doesn't teach.
Enough. Time to go forward and learn.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
----Gandhi
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Support & Comfort
Date: 2005-03-17 08:37 am (UTC)Grim... all I can offer is support, encouragement in the face of disappointment, serenity to know that the universe has a great plan for you, and love to comfort your heart. That and supreme confidence that you are an amazing, powerful man, and each experience in this life will only hone your skills, sharpen your swords, and strengthen your spirit... and as always, you will shine.
*bows low, head to the floor, kisses feet of the warrior after a brave battle*..
Aurora
Re: Support & Comfort
Date: 2005-03-17 06:54 pm (UTC)*bows lower in sieza, intercepts kiss, gives hug, returns kiss to Healer's hands* (wouldn't be polite to allow such a woman to get gum in her hair)