The final Internship Update, for a year...

[grim23]

My armour is gone, and I cannot lift my swords anymore. That battle is over, at least for this season.

I did not get the position. I fought the best that I could, and I'll find out in a couple of days why I didn't get the internship. I have to have faith that there was a reason. The Best Friend is concerned my ego structure (from JIC) was becoming an egg, as opposed to a honeycomb with multiple structural integrity, and that one blow would destroy everything. On reflection, and rereading my journal, I can see how see one would think that. This would be that blow, and if it were true, I'd be an omelet. Does it hurt? Yes. Will I lay down and die? Never.



Now? New, better armour. A new sword, called Dissertation. A new perspective. A new home, new relationships, new roles. The Dark Samurai must heal himself, and train more---become faster, harder, and more efficient. I must become silk-wrapped iron, give up even more Self, and take care of business. It's time to heal others, time to lead others, time to serve. Time to make my baby howl, scraping pegs, wind burning my eyes at 88mph in a tight sweeper. Time to finish cutting away that which doesn't serve, and cut away chains holding me back. There is no time for anything that hesitates, doesn't engage life, that doesn't teach.

Enough. Time to go forward and learn.



Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
----Gandhi

Comments

[darklady-produc.livejournal.com]

Ummm... boy, I hate to be less than supportive here since I know how much this meant to you, but this information has important ramifications for me, as well -- and I thought you wouldn't know an answer until today. Friday. Two days after you already knew but hadn't bothered to tell me. Instead I, like other uninvolved persons, had to visit Live Journal in order to find out. You and the Sweetheart are both getting pretty good at dropping out of communication circles that involve me and leaving me hanging. Blah.

I'm confused by your rather cryptic comments about a new home and new friendships. Are you staying in Salem or are you looking at relocating even without the internship?

It was good to see you and to meet Jess during Kinkfest and I'm sorry that you still haven't found the right internship. What a confusing and frustrating drag.

Ramifications

[grim23]

I still intend to call you today, when I have some time. I am still intending on relocation. It was good to spend some time with you, and introduce you to people I respect and admire. :>

Confusion and frustration, yes.

Re: Ramifications

[darklady-produc.livejournal.com]

Ok dokey. Thanks. :)

Onward, deeper into the confusion and frustration!

Re: Ramifications

[grim23]

I might call late, or tomorrow---dealing with a crisis. Hope that's OK...