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grim23(1) I am very Japanese in my speaking style. Veiled meanings, double meanings, twilight language, and suggestions rather than clear directions. I prefer others to figure out what I mean, rather than just saying it. I usually only do this on those who know me more than an acquaintance, and who I know get it.
(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")
(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.
(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.
(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)
Comments?
(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")
(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.
(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.
(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)
Comments?
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Date: 2006-08-16 11:13 pm (UTC)Why bother communicating at all if you communicate that way... because that is NOT communication. Communication involves two Points - the sender and the receiver. But if the receiver has not a clue what the sender is saying then no communication has happened. Just alot of wasted energy, and usually some frustration. Personally, and you know I love you, but I think that DarkLady, and the other commentor hit the nail on the head... it's a combination of Need for Control, Manipulation, and Fear of Intimacy/Lack of Trust, that creates this aspect of your communication style. If you can control and manipulate the information, and the receiver of the information by having that control... then you don't have to deal with fears. Plus I think there is an element of power trip involved, where you get off feeling important because you are "in the know" about "everything"... and others have to deal with the small veiled pieces you drop.
As for #3 - you do listen... sometimes. But I think you like to talk ALOT more than you realize. You can talk a person's ear off for hours, and not tell them a damn thing in the whole process. But you are also good at listening, and helping people find within themselves the answers they seek. As long as it is about the other person... or about some nonsensical, pseudoreality, superficial layer or aspect of you - you can go on for hours. But once the communication gets anywhere close to YOU, to reality, or to your heart... that's where the #1 piece comes back in.
As for #5... Duh! I'm not sure I've ever spent an hour with you where an innuendo wasn't involved.
But this is not a Grim-bashing field day hun... cause I already know all this about you, and you know a whole lot more (and worse) stuff about me... and I love you for who you are, warts and all. I only post my observations because you seemed to want input from those who know ya for your growth.
If not, well then you know where the delete button is, and I'll still love ya.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 09:23 pm (UTC)You are probably right about my motivation. Thank you. I'd rather have clearer communication with my friends, and everyone.
#3. Yes. I AM discovering I can tend to go on and on. It's harder for me to talk about myself on an personal level.
#5. I'll work on that, and try to communicate without that coloring our conversation.
Thank you very much for the input. I appreciate your comments very much.
Grim