What I already know about how I communicate

[grim23]

(1) I am very Japanese in my speaking style. Veiled meanings, double meanings, twilight language, and suggestions rather than clear directions. I prefer others to figure out what I mean, rather than just saying it. I usually only do this on those who know me more than an acquaintance, and who I know get it.

(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")

(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.

(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.

(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)

Comments?

Comments

[jic]

kudos for taking the step
kudos for examining yourself
kudos for acknowledging lessons learned
kudos for opening yourself up to comments

I think 1 has been beaten to death covered well enough by parties who likely know you better than I. Suffice to say, I have felt that frustration.

As for 2 -- every group has a jargon. The jargon I use in communicating with other slashers obfuscates my communication with non-fen. Everyone shares the need to consider their audience in any form of communication.

3 & 4 -- it's a chicken and egg question. Are you like this by profession, or is your profession chosen because you are like this?

5 - This is most likely driving the brevity in our correspondence. I have no interest in sex (at least on a personal involvement level), and there are severe limits on what you can share about work. I do not share a fascination with things Eastern; neither philosophy or martial art (my interest in combat is not in the grace or principle, but in 'how can I make a person out-of-commission as quickly and efficiently as possible' - not many who take the arts seriously are willing to cater to that).

And when I get around to posting my post-con report, I suspect more about me that lends itself to the past difficulty in our relationship will be revealed.

[grim23]

Thank you. I forget to consider my audience, and presume that everyone has the same experiences, filters, and knowledge and training that I have had, and speak and write that way.

I am unsure at this point whether I communicate this way because of my profession, or whether I chose my profession because of this. I'll eventually puzzle it out---but I'm a bit late to choose another profession. Perhaps it'll be altered by that conclusion, though.

What I don't want, however, is brevity of communication between us. I am interested in what intersests we do share, and I am looking forward to you post-con report.

Thank you again.

Grim