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grim23(1) I am very Japanese in my speaking style. Veiled meanings, double meanings, twilight language, and suggestions rather than clear directions. I prefer others to figure out what I mean, rather than just saying it. I usually only do this on those who know me more than an acquaintance, and who I know get it.
(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")
(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.
(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.
(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)
Comments?
(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")
(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.
(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.
(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)
Comments?
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-17 07:09 am (UTC)My questions to you: What do all of these things have in common? What prompted you to behave that way in the first place? That is the key here...
#1. Many times we sidestep obvious things that would hurt people's feelings. But being indirect is only moderately above saying "yeah your ass looks big in that outfit." Find the middle ground; there is ALWAYS a way to make your point directly. As for people's hurt feelings, well...how can you control for that all the time without being indirect all the time?
#2. Take the middle ground on acronyms, too. TV is laziness. How much harder is television to say? However, when it comes to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...
#3. Listening is good, if that is indeed what you are doing. Most of the time, when people think they are listening, they are truly just thinking of the next clever thing they would like to say themselves. Check it out; are you listening, or are you being clever?
#4. No such thing as secrets, only inappropriate information. "Keeping secrets" blocks that chakra like nothing else. However, there are confidences that one must keep in order to do what you do (or what I do). The key is True, Kind, Necessary. Sometimes, it's just not necessary to speak these things. And many times it's not kind either. Inappropriate information just doesn't get out; no need to block true communication.
#5. Shut down those two bottom chakras once in a while and see what happens to your "innuendos."
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 09:43 pm (UTC)I'm working on the middle ground, and not being 'clever'. True, Kind, and Necessary versus secrets is a wonderful lesson; thank you.
Yeah. The innuendos have disappeared once I took 'em down and started operating at a higher level. Big surprise.
I'll keep working on it.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 10:28 pm (UTC)A great big pat on the back for all the good work you're doing. It seems you're as good a student as I always thought you'd be.
And a wink for Tam, too; thanks for the compliment...:-)
no subject
Date: 2006-08-20 04:14 pm (UTC)Yeah. Tam is pretty amazing, isn't she? :>