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grim23(1) I am very Japanese in my speaking style. Veiled meanings, double meanings, twilight language, and suggestions rather than clear directions. I prefer others to figure out what I mean, rather than just saying it. I usually only do this on those who know me more than an acquaintance, and who I know get it.
(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")
(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.
(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.
(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)
Comments?
(2) I struggle constantly, especially in my professional communication with colleagues, to use less acronyms. ("The PCP thinks CBT for her PTSD, coupled with a SSRI and an HIPPA ROI to her PMHNP, would increase her BDI and GAF scores.")
(3) I often prefer to listen first, and speak less. I take in a lot from others, and distill that and other experiences, and come out with two or three lines.
(4) I am a Keeper of Secrets. I have a lot of things people have told me in confidence, and that often is a filter that reduces what I say. I will not betray a confidence.
(5) Neo-Freudian drives (sex and work) often provide the ego structure for my words, and are often the most prevalent conversations people remember me having with them. (I recently offered to help someone dress after a recent surgery that made dressing difficult, and was asked to stop making sexual innuendoes---and when I protested that I was simply offering to help, she said that I always made innuendoes to her, and she didn't realize I was trying to be helpful. Although I realize she was in a post-op mindstate, I still took that in as a lesson for me.)
Comments?
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-17 07:45 pm (UTC)1) It appears that even those who know you as more than an acquaintance--are not getting it. I know I rarely do. So much easier to have a "in the moment connection" with you when not trying to decipher meanings.
3) One of my biggest frustrations with our communication has been that I feel you do not listen to me. Listening skills deteriorate without even knowing. I know I found out I was not as good a listener as I thought when I took a class on listening skills.
4)I have experienced with you "selective keeping of secrets". I honestly believe that you would not betray a confidence, knowingly. I think Sienna is right on about this one--unblock that and move energy from necessary and kind places.
5) In one sentence---Your sexual innuendo is confusing intentions. It has and will cause misrepresentation of your feelings. Maybe you need to clarify where this is coming from and what need it fills for you.
You are brave and I admire your willingness to share and be vulnerable. Much love and energy sent to you.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-18 10:01 pm (UTC)3) Thank you. I'll work on listening to you and others, better.
4) Thank you, again. True, kind, and neccesary are far better criterion, and there was/is a blockage there.
5) I do not want confusing intentions, and misinterpretations of feelings. I'm working on this.
I appreciate your courage in return.
Grim