A question.

[grim23]

So, while drinking Turkish coffee with my BF while in Raleigh before we went to a biker rally, she said that I am often unaware that I sometimes make requests of people in a way that makes it difficult for them to say no or ask for what they need, and set their own boundaries with me. She said this may come across as manipulation or taking advantage of people. At the same time, she also said that once I am aware of a boundary, I am very good at honoring it.

She also said my greatest quality was challenging others to grow and develop.


I welcome all comments, anonymous or not, regarding her insights into me. Anything. I do not question her perception of me. What I'm looking for is other feedback about how I do these things. I am in NC for a year, and I have a chance to grow while I am away from who I was when I was in OR. I'm working on improving my self, especially my communication with others.

Thank you.

Comments

[sexypink-lips.livejournal.com]

What I notice is that you don't hear what you don't want to hear, which can be said for many of us in this world. The comment about privilege reminds me of my class I took in June. And how to understand someone that isn't the same as ourselves we need to look at what makes us privileged to see how to help those that don't have the same privilege.

As a white male you have privilege that I as a white female does not have, but I as a white female have privilige that a black male does not. To look at this is tough we are so prone to look at how we are not privilege, because this makes us feel less quilty of what we have and others are not allowed to have, that it is hard to see what privilege we have.

Good luck on your journey.

[grim23]

Your noticing that I do not hear what I don't want to hear and that many people in this world have this issue, is, I believe, very true. However, I'm striving to improve myself and communicate more clearly than that ... and so, I want to understand you. I think that is also a very valid point that I as a white male, have privilege and it is indeed not something I often think about.

Would you be OK with please giving me examples, especially when I didn't hear what I didn't want to hear? If you don't feel comfortable with re-posting on lj, would you be OK with calling me or emailing me? If you'd like, I can call or email you if you've a preference. Thank you.