A question.

[grim23]

So, while drinking Turkish coffee with my BF while in Raleigh before we went to a biker rally, she said that I am often unaware that I sometimes make requests of people in a way that makes it difficult for them to say no or ask for what they need, and set their own boundaries with me. She said this may come across as manipulation or taking advantage of people. At the same time, she also said that once I am aware of a boundary, I am very good at honoring it.

She also said my greatest quality was challenging others to grow and develop.


I welcome all comments, anonymous or not, regarding her insights into me. Anything. I do not question her perception of me. What I'm looking for is other feedback about how I do these things. I am in NC for a year, and I have a chance to grow while I am away from who I was when I was in OR. I'm working on improving my self, especially my communication with others.

Thank you.

Comments

[grim23]

I have been, as you point out, too attached to outcome, especially with expending my energy to help people grow---and, as you say, may push boundary issues with others, especially those with less will, especially if they are unaware that there may be an outcome from our conversation.

Often, my conversation with others leads to an outcome---either a lesson for me or reinforcing something in my mind I have already learned that may be helpful for them, in my opinion. However, that may be something they didn't want or need or expect, thus, that makes it difficult for them to say no or ask for what they need, and set their own boundaries with me. I can see how this could come across as manipulation or taking advantage of people.

Thank you for the way you explained this to me, and for the feedback. I'm sorry I was not able to give you what you really needed at the time, and I'm glad I was able to help support you in other ways.